Day 151--Back to Square One

So, I look around my house and I see that I'm back where I started. Well, mostly anyway. Papers piled high around my desk; I literally cannot find anything I'm looking for lately. Sticky floors, unmade beds, baskets of laundry, unpaid bills, unfinished projects... There is no organized bliss here. Nor has there been for a long, long time. I look back on day 60--organized and CLEAN bath toys. It's been a long time and, believe it or not, they are in dire need of a fresh clean again. I'm in survival mode, for the most part, and it's really a place that I don't like to be.

True, some good things have come out of the last 91 days. Just one week ago, I pulled together an enormous garage sale and got rid of about 20 boxes of old toys, clothing and knick-knacks, plus some large pieces of crappy furniture. And I made around $600 bucks in the process! I've also been dabbling with some healthy, sneaky cooking techniques and have learned some great, new recipes for my family. And I've planted a garden...twice...maybe thrice. (My two-year old LOVES to dig in the dirt and I think he's tampered with most of my seeds...I'm hoping the plants I planted yesterday will be big enough to emit a DO NOT TOUCH message when he wanders near the garden from now on.) So, all in all, I haven't been a complete loser/slacker/basket case over the last 3 months.

Yet, there you have it...3 months. 3 months since my last post and I don't feel like I have much to show for it. Even though my garage is a lot less full, you wouldn't know it to look at it, because it's still as unorganized as ever. (Except for this one little sweet area near the family "lockers" where I set up a little bench for taking off shoes, etc.) Tomorrow is June 1st and I'm petrified, because, not only does that mean that the year is almost half over, but, much more critically, it means summer is on me and summer is my ultimate non-productive season. Usually too hot to do much of anything but hide out in the basement or lounge around, trying my hardest not to work or do anything physical where I'll be working up a sweat. And my kids are home...surrounding me with their bickering and teasing and running and screeching. Me, with very good intentions at having a productive summer full of participation in programs at the library and lots of good old fashioned WORK WORK WORK. Me, always giving in around mid-morning of some mid-June day and shooing Davis off to play somewhere, anywhere, even though his jobs aren't done and probably never will be, just to retain some little kernel of that sacred thing called sanity.

8 days...It all begins in 8 days. And my expectations are no different than they ever are, you know. I'm already envisioning what skills we should learn, what kind of rewards program to instigate, how to motivate my kids into getting a move on in their day. How quickly will I be disappointed this year?

Well, no need to dwell on the inevitable. Just hang in there, Sara. One day at a time. That's the whole point of this blog, isn't it? So, I have one goal for today and only 30 minutes to complete it. I want to see my desk again. I want papers filed in their files and the excess thrown away or dealt with. Davis gets home from school in 30 minutes, and you know it's all downhill from there...Ready, Set, Go!